Depression & Anxiety

Depression and anxiety have been my constant companions for over 3 decades. Being terrified of dying one minute while an anxiety attack knocks me back 10 steps and then wishing I was dead when the depressions took hold.

I felt crazy, unstable, useless, weak, incapable, and selfish. I truly felt like I had no control at all. I just “knew” that I was a huge burden to my husband. I “knew” I was a sub-par mother to my children. I had no faith at all in my ability to be good for anything. My most common message to myself was that I was simply a “waste of skin”.

I realize that some people do not agree with taking medications and I was one of them until nothing else worked for me. Even then, I would go on medications, start to feel better and then stop taking them. I rode that roller coaster (without a harness) for many years before finally realizing that I needed to find and then stay on medications that helped me.
I am on 3 now. One for my depression, one that helps with my anxiety, and one for the psychotic features that accompany my PTSD. The last one also helps me sleep which is a gift like no other after you have gone YEARS without a good nights rest.
These medications didn’t cure me and I never expected them to. They did however get me to a place where I was capable of starting treatment. My therapy would be useless without them.
I do not think everyone needs medications and I respect that every person makes the best decision for themselves. That said? If you need the medications and they help you? Never feel guilty or like you are “less than” just because you accepted some help.  No one would tell a diabetic that they just need to snap out of their need for insulin. We are no different.

I hope to add links to articles on depression and anxiety as well as links to my blogs on it.
I have been VERY blessed to have found a great deal of healing over the past few years and I feel like I have an ability to share what I was fortunate enough to be taught. This is my way of paying it forward. 🙂

No matter how low you feel or how much of a burden that you are sure you are? There is hope. I promise you that. I was absolutely positive that feeling better was impossible and I had given up on it. If help could reach me? It can reach you too.
Stick with me and lets figure this out together. ❤

7 responses to “Depression & Anxiety

  1. Are you looking at starting your own blog about depression and anxiety or looking to do some “guest writing”?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I was just in looking at your blog. It is excellent but I can see it is not really geared towards depression and anxiety.
    If you would like to write guest pieces, I would be happy to read them and post them. Can you email me directly and we can chat a bit more about it?
    Sorry to write it funny but if you write your email properly, you get a lot of spammers.
    heathershelpers at mail dot com

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I had EMDR a hypnotherapy to deal with my teeth grinding, he went through the reasons I was stressed, I thought I was over domestic abuse, Iv tried hard to be over the nightmares, my therapy guy never knew about the abuse, Iv knew him years, I try not to speak about it, only close people knew, it’s embarrassing I was so stupid trusting my abusers lies, during the paperwork before hypnosis he decided to try EMDR on me, the next morning I woke up full of the joys I thought I was happy before that,I felt like the old me, but depression comes and goes due the domestic abuse I put up with, due to he would attack the cops, and he did but got nowhere, they were amazing my heroes,
    I top up on the smiley face EMDR video on you tube, Iv still not stopped grinding, but maybe soon I will when the stress is all gone.

    Like

    • The only thing I really want to tell you is that you are NOT STUPID for believing your abusers lies. Anyone with trauma that I’ve ever met goes through a stage where we all feel shame for one reason or another.
      Abusers are masters of manipulation. They will do and say anything at all to get you to believe what they want you to believe.
      Your reaction in believing it was human and trusting. Not stupid.

      Like

  4. Thanks heather, hope your feeling better, I’m up and down just now, back on a happy place, things hopefully ending soon, I can’t believe it’s took nearly 15 years to get a divorce after domestic abuse, I’ll never get married ever again it’s to expensive when you work and the abuser gets everything free.
    Happy new year everyone.

    Like

    • Many people can relate to that. Myself included. That said? I felt it was worth the money to rid myself of the negativity. I hope you will feel the same eventually.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s