At a loss…

This blog today will be a short one. My mind is absolutely filled to the brim with chaotic thoughts due to a huge loss on Monday.
I live in a very rural place and the communities are connected much like communities were many decades ago. One of the things that connects us is the fish/crab/shrimp plant (one place). Our population is very small and the plant employs 700 people each season. This should have been the week that everyone went back to work but the plant burnt to the ground on Monday.

The plant is not “a” place to work. It is “the” place to work. There are not other jobs to be had. A few people keep the gas stations and little stores alive, some work at the small cottage hospital, a few are teachers from the area that found jobs at the very tiny schools but I’d say that roughly 80% of all the jobs available are directly tied to the plant.

In my family, it employed my husband, 2 of my brother-in-laws, a sister-in-law and countless friends. Losing it is devastating. We all hope they will rebuild but that will not happen overnight and all of the people who were employed there are at the end of their unemployment benefits. It is just enough to hold us all over for the winter. Barely. We manage though and when the summer comes and the work is plentiful, we all stock up again for winter and have whatever needs to be done to our homes, cars, with the kids taken care of. My husband and I must replace our roof this year as it begun to leak badly last year and this season was what would have paid for that.

Please do not read this wrong, I am not asking for money or anything else here. I am just trying to explain the magnitude of it for us. Some of you may have even seen news clips on it already.

Many of my Helpers are freaking out, especially the little ones. I went to get groceries today because they were all so afraid they would have nothing to eat. There are a lot of bad memories regarding going hungry so it is a deep seated fear. Some of the teens are just fed up and want to leave for greener pastures. As most teenagers believe, the grass is greener on the other side to them. Many of the adults are worried about money and what everyone will have to do to survive. I (Heather) just feel shocked and depressed about it and I am having a bit of a pity party… “Why can’t anything ever go right?”.  Sometimes we just need to have a good old fashioned pity party right? Let it get worked out of our system.Needless to say, there are so many emotions to deal with internally plus calls and visits from family and friends (GREATLY appreciated). I just feel chaotic. I am sorry if this blog today reflects that.

We will be okay… somehow. I just don’t know how yet. I am sure that I will feel more settled on Friday when it is time for my next blog.
Until then? All the best to you!!!

21 responses to “At a loss…

  1. HI Heather and the helpers,

    This is completely understandable. I’m sorry this happened to your community. It will leave lasting effects. Have you looked into nine work? just at hough. I’m sure you will figure out the how but it’s scary until then.

    sl

    >

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  2. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope things work out ok.

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  3. Oh, Heather! I hope that if there is a relief fund where we can send a bit of help, that you will let us know. I am so terribly sorry. What a nightmare.

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  4. Lesley HamiltonMoore

    Hi Heather, I’m so sorry for the situation at the moment. Although my situation was nothing close to the situation you are in at the moment, my husband lost his job close to Christmas many moons ago, with two children of 6yrs and 3yrs. Me being ‘me’ always looked at these situations as a crisis situations as I was never guided when things went wrong, so I dealt with every situations as a child would. All I can say is that we got through it, and again I have to say I never compare my situation to anyone else’s, but you will get through it, I know you will.

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  5. We are thinking of you all. Wish i could hug you in person.

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  6. Good luck to all of you. How awful. Sorry this has happened to all of you.

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  7. So sorry to hear, Heather, and I will keep you and your whole community in my thoughts.

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  8. Dear Heather,

    Your blog this week has made me wish I could reach out and hug you, tell you how proud I am of your strength and bravery, and let your Helpers know that they are blessed to have such a fine woman with whom to live and to love.
    Truly, you’re an incredible and amazing woman. As a special education teacher, I picked up enough ‘between the lines ‘ that your story pretty much validated what I’d feared had happened to you, but it made me so angry at your parents and family.
    I’m a trauma survivor diagnosed with PTSD. My mother abused me and my siblings. She abused me in every way. My father did nothing to stop her. He told me we needed to try to understand her! He loved her unconditionally until his dying day. I never realized that he didn’t protect me until about 2 years ago during a therapy session. That’s how deluded I was where he was concerned.
    Your blog helps me to realize that I am not alone, even though I don’t wish what we have endured on my worst enemy. Your strength helps me to want to be strong. Your courage makes me want to be brave.
    I cut off all contact with my mother 6 years ago. She retaliated by standing by my abusive husband all throughout our ugly divorce and his subsequent lawsuit against me in which he took almost every penny I had.
    I’m now married to a good man who loves me. – why, I don’t know — and after a lifetime of abuse, it has been very hard to accept his kindness. I’ve truly been horrible to him, but he has stayed with me since I go to therapy and remain on my medicine.
    I have such feelings of guilt and shame. You articulated the difference for me. I hate myself, but you addressed the reasons for these unreasonable feelings in your blog.
    Your blog is very positive and validating, but I feel like it’s a sign of your growth that you’re recently sharing some hard stuff, like your story and the horrible fact that your mother actually moved to your little town!
    Perhaps this latest tragedy, the fire, and your therapist’s retirement, are signs from your Higher Power to look at other options, such as moving and starting a life far from your abuser. Neither of mine are close enough to impact my life, although my mother tries to he to me through my youngest sister, whom I adore.
    You can come and stay at my house, and bring your husband, if you need a break! I live in a warm climate, near the ocean. You are really and truly welcome. As are your Helpers.
    I feel a great kinship with you, Heather! I’m not trying to be weird or creepy. I just want you to know that you have a place to come and stay should you need it. I can never repay what you’ve given to me spiritually, but I can try to let you know that I believe you,no believe IN you, and I welcome you into my heart as a friend.

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    • Thank you so much for your beautiful reply. I feel like you totally get me and I can totally “get” you too.
      I am so sorry that you also had a monster for a mother and that your childhood was not enough for her to take from you.
      As for your father that stood by and did nothing? It took me a long time to see how uncaring that was as well. I put angel wings on his because he didn’t do anything directly… but he did DO ANYTHING! It is a very painful realization isn’t it?
      As for your monster supporting your ex-husband… mine does/did too. My mother has also brainwashed my children (young adults now). This only shows the level they are willing to sink to hurt us.
      I hope that you are proud of yourself for not becoming her? I can tell in your words that you simply ooze with kindness and love. Good for you!!! At times I am sure it seems as though she is winning but she isn’t. You have more in the palm of your hand at this second than she will ever truly have in her whole life.
      It took me 17 years to actually truly feel as though I could trust my husband. He is the sweetest, kindest, most loving man I coudl ask for but I could not trust that. I want you to do me a little favour and see if it helps. When you feel like being hurtful to him, stop even if only for 5 seconds. Take a deep breath in. Say “I am safe.” Blow it out. Breathe in again and say to yourself “I can trust him”. Breathe out. It will only take you 5 seconds but it was a game changer for me. I realized I was not really reacting to my husband most times. I was in traumatic reenactment. The two breaths and reminding myself that I am safe really changed things for me. Let me know if it helps you.
      There are negatives to living here with my mothers influence but I already moved 3,500kms and she followed. What will make the next place safe? I never told her where I was this time either so she can find me. Plus… my husband, his family, my friends, my art business, my home that I’ve lived in for 13 years and the tree that I’ve been watching grow are all here too.
      If I come to your place for a break, I’ll need to leave my husband here. LOL 😉
      Thank you so much for your offer and your words. You have no idea just how tempting it all is. 🙂
      You are now a friend in my heart too. Thank you again. ❤

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  9. oh my, this is awful news! I was behind on posts so only seeing this now. My best to all of you heather at this sad time. xoxo

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