Over my 45 years on this earth, I have managed to learn a few lessons. As I get older, I am more open to and accepting of receiving these lessons which I really appreciate. I was a bit of a hard-head when I was younger. No different from most younger adults. 😉 Today I wanted to share some ideas/lessons learned that mean a lot to me now. I hope some of them will stick with you as well. 🙂
Never feel the need to apologize for what you did to survive.
We all make decisions based on what we know and what we are taught. Try to forgive yourself for anything you’ve done to get to where you are now. As Maya Angelou wisely stated, “When you know better, you can do better.”
Energy is contagious. Positive and negative alike. You are the only person who can control what energy you choose to share.
We all have bad days, good days, happy days and sad days. That is partially what defines us as human beings. That said, we have a lot of control over what we choose to share with others. I always say that I want to be the sort of person people will be sad to see leave the room. Not relieved that I finally left.
You can not have a positive life with a negative mind.
How you are with others (above) is one thing. How you are when you are within your own thoughts is another issue altogether. You can not be a happy person if the messages you say to yourself are mean. “I’m so stupid.” “I’m such a f*** up.”, “No one will ever care about me.” “I am ugly/fat/too skinny/have a huge nose/walk funny/talk weird….”
Be nice to yourself. YOU are listening.
Perspective is EVERYTHING!!!
I never really got this one until the past year or two. HOW you choose to look at a situation can change that situation completely. I was always in the “It is what it is” camp and viewed how I saw something as its reality when it really isn’t.
One example that sticks out to me is all about icebergs. I live on iceberg ally and I am blessed each year with these majestic pieces of 2,000 year old ice floating past my home. I am not originally from here so for the past 13 years, I look at them with amazement and wonder. I appreciate living here now so I can witness them for myself. People pay thousands of dollars to come visit here just to see them so I see myself as a very lucky person indeed.
Then you talk to a fisherman. For the most part they hate icebergs because an iceberg can damage all their gear and cost them thousands of dollars to replace their gear.
And you talk to people who lived here all their lives and they don’t appreciate them at all. They assert that icebergs do nothing but keep the air cold.
Then talk to the people on the Titanic… well, you know what they think of them.
BAD joke. 😉
By the way, these days we have radar to show ships where icebergs are. Not two freezing cold guys with a pair of binoculars looking in to the night.
This is a perfect example of how one thing can be seen very differently depending on your perspective.
You are worthy of forgiveness.
Yes. You are. You really are. Honest. Everyone messes up. If someone holds that over your head, avoid them like the plague. You don’t need that crap in your life.
Your true family is not always related by blood.
My blood relations are batsh*t crazy. I am batsh*t crazy too but I take medications faithfully. 😉 My blood relations don’t/won’t even see that they have issues. I do not like to speak poorly of people but to make my point here, I will for a quick moment. My blood relations are some of the most delusional, harmful, hurtful (some hurt by accident, some hurt others on purpose), mean-spirited, sneaky, two-faced people alive. They will lie and many will go so far as to make you feel that you are the problem and have been all along. I believed that lie for 4 decades. It is only now that I am mentally healthier that I realized most of what I was taught were only lessons to cover their arses. Seriously messed up.
I know I am not alone here sadly. Not at all alone.
So do what you can to move away from damaging people even if they are “family” and make your own family with healthy individuals that put kindness compassion right near the top of their ‘what is important to me” list. You deserve that and they deserve to get that back from you. This is healthy and loving. Find as much of this as you can.
Kindness is free. Sprinkle that sh*t everywhere.
Seriously, kindness costs us nothing yet buys the most precious thing ever. Happiness. Spread kindness every place you go. Others will benefit from it and you will make their day but this is a tricky gift. As you give kindness to others, it is gifted right back to you in feelings of happiness and excitement.
Laughter is medicine.
This is not my saying but it is so true. Recently my husband and I received a very mean email that hurt us both deeply. We cried about it. We wondered why us. We struggled to see what point this person was trying to make. We came up pretty much empty-handed except to agree that this was obviously a very sad and angry person without a good place to vent it so they vented at us.
Then we began to make jokes. Call each other names. Tease each other about being everything the email said we were. Not everyone would find that funny but we did. It helped us heal and it helped us put things back in to perspective.
Just because someone says something does not mean it is true.
The Dalai Lama says to question everything. To even question what he says. It is your own personal journey to decide what is true for you.