I’ll meet you where you are.

I must wonder if there is any greater gift that to meet someone right where they are. Not where you want them to be or where you wish they would be but rather where they are right now… and that would be enough.
Wouldn’t that be wonderful?

What if someone did that for you? Offered to meet you right where you are at this moment without so much as one request to change a thing? Can you imagine not feeling the need to change a single thing before you were accepted wholeheartedly. What a gift right?

If you’ve read my blog for any time at all, I am sure you already knows what comes next. 😉 I am so predictable.

What if we chose to meet ourselves right where we are? How beautiful would it be to love this person who you are today with no reservations, no conditions and no pressure to be anything at all but who you are right now? Can you even imagine it?

I have been just as guilty as most everyone else in the past for always setting certain bars I must reach before I am acceptable to myself.
I will be acceptable when I lose weight… and then I don’t.
If I got a promotion but now I can’t even work any longer.
If my children turn out well and they did but now two won’t speak to me.
If I am married and if I never got divorced… then I did.
If I found the RIGHT man and thankfully I did.
When I can exercise  certain amount each week then don’t do it at all followed by overdoing it every day with no healthy break…
When I lost weight but then gained it back.

I have many successes too and things that I am VERY proud of myself for but for some reason we deny full acceptance of ourselves because of our shortcomings but do not grant ourselves full acceptance for our strengths. That is a bit messed up don’t you think? What about we try to change that?

I am acceptable just as I am right this minute even if I do not ever change even one thing. Can you say that? Perhaps a better question is “Do you want to?”.

I have a few VERY wonderful friends whom I love with all my heart and I think they are the most terrific people alive but each of them is far too harsh with themselves. I won’t single anyone out so I will just give you a list of what I hear them say about themselves and it breaks my heart.
I am too fat.
I am too lazy.
I look old.
I have no willpower.
I can not work and that makes me feel useless.
I have no real skills.
I am stupid.
I am such a scatterbrain.
I have no backbone.
I can’t do anything right.
I am too ill to be of any good to anyone any longer.
I am not as sexy as I used to be.
I am selfish.
There are plenty more and I wish I could tell them to just knock it off. That they are wonderfully perfect just as they are right now in this minute. They are! They really are!
I can’t really give them heck though can I? Not since I do the same thing.

Since I am the one writing this blog, I will start with me.
I am going to do my damnedest to start accepting myself right where I am today.
This does not mean that I do not have things I want to change or things I need to work on but I think it is high time I see myself how others see me. They are not nearly as critical.
Others see me as strong, capable, intelligent, kind, thoughtful and I am darned good kisser. Trust me. 😉 My husband told me so.
Joking aside, I really do try hard to be a really good person and I give a lot of myself to others. This is good enough for the people who want me in their lives, why isn’t it enough for me?
Why isn’t it enough for you?

What if we made a pact on this Friday August the 19th, 2015?
What if we agreed to begin to accept ourselves for who we are right now with absolutely no need to change even one small thing. Wouldn’t that be awesome? Can you imagine the example we would set for others in our lives? Maybe they could start to accept themselves as well. The way you do.

I know that we all have things we want to or need to change about ourselves and we can still work on those things. We SHOULD work on those things. We never wish to be stagnant or stop striving for better but if we can accept ourselves as we are now? We will always be acceptable no matter how many goals we still need to reach. My self-improvement list never stops but if I am truthful? I have accomplished A LOT over the past couple of years and I am truly good right where I am now. Even when I look back at my depressed, suicidal, self hating days… I lived when all I wanted was to die. I didn’t love or accept myself back then but I should have. I was one strong chickie and I fought HARD to get where I am today. Why can’t that be good enough for me? Why can’t that be good enough for you?

Look at who you are through the eyes of the people who love you. Look through your own eyes as well but be gentle. You are human. You will make mistakes. You will fall, scrape your knees and fall again BUT if you try your best and you always try to get back up, that should be enough.

Starting today I am going to try to accept myself right here and right now with no conditions. Is anyone with me?

Now

9 responses to “I’ll meet you where you are.

  1. GREAT blog Heather.

    >

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  2. My niece was recently a bridesmaid for her friend. She looked like a goddess in a grecian-style dress with her long golden hair, gentle curves and flawless skin. But her comment on seeing the photos? “I’m so much bigger than the other bridesmaids!”
    l told her she is gorgeous and shouldn’t be so hard on herself, then realised what a hippocryte l was! She must have heard me putting myself down a thousand times, so why am l surprised when she does the same?
    You’ve made a great point Heather. Why judge ourselves more harshly than we would judge others?

    You’ve made a good point Heather. l wish l had been more sccepting

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    • Oh yes Wendy, we all do that. I am sure the other bridemaids looked at their photo’s and found big noses, one eye larger than the other, a bigger bum… I’d say it never ends but it CAN. We just need to start it. Change the way we speak and teach our youngsters to be more accepting of themselves at the same time. 🙂

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  3. What an inspirational post! Consider this a standing ovation :).

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  4. Practicing radical acceptance of ourselves – so true. Thanks for sharing

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  5. Definitely something to keep working on.

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