Fear is such a horrible thing and many of us tend to live in fear at all times. Fear of what is behind you, fear of what is ahead of you, fear of sleeping, fear of being afraid.
So that sucks but there are ways to overcome many of these fears that almost every human being deals with. Those are the fears I will chat about today. I hope some of the suggestions help you. Remember that fear is your only competitor and this is not a race against anyone else so just relax and do what you can to follow these tips.
- Fear feeds on negativity. Say “Why not?” or “I can!” rather than I can’t. If you are truly incapable of doing a large task, find a smaller task within it that you can do. You can always contribute something.
- Fear breeds on lies. Whether it is lies told about you or lies you tell yourself to make you feel better, you are feeding fear. Just deal with the facts. They are far less scary than they appear when you are still hiding from them.
- Fear feeds on suffocation. Allow yourself to breathe. Really nice breaths. Most people only use the top of their lungs and rarely fill all the way to their diaphragm. I did really shallow breathing for so long that my first few days of taking deeper breaths actually hurt me physically. Now I realize that those nice deep breaths help you to think more clearly and with a calmer demeanour.
- Fear feeds on perfectionism. Embrace mistakes rather than appearing as though you don’t make any. I am the last one to preach to anyone else about perfectionism but I have learned how to make light of my mistakes by saying things like ” Well, I guess I have to make a mistake at least once a year.”. It makes people laugh and allows me to admit that I am not perfect. I know this will shock you but I’m not. 😉
- Fear breeds on waiting for the right time. Take a small step each day rather than waiting to be able to run a marathon on some future tomorrow. Each step makes the journey appear more possible to you rather than only seeing the huge end goal. I have been doing this for weight loss. I have a LOT to lose so rather than a huge number, I lose a pound a time. When I get down that pound, I strive for the next one down. Anyone can lose one pound right?
- Fear breeds on inaction. Do something. ANYTHING!
- Fear feeds on indecision. Make a decision. Do not sit around waiting for proof of a certain outcome. That rarely ever happens so nothing will get done. In the meantime, look at the facts and make the decision that best suits those facts. If you make a crappy decision? Read number 4 again.
- Fear feeds on the unknown. Imagine the very worst thing that could happen and decide what you would do if that happened. I did this when I had breast cancer. Being positive wasn’t helping me much so I decided to take a hard look at what I was afraid of. It was dying and leaving my very young children motherless. I was a single mother at the time because my ex-husband “couldn’t handle cancer” and my children were newborn, 2 and 3 years old. I planned my funeral, set all my “end of life” decision in to place, made plans for my children and where they would go, I recorded messages to each of them on videotape for their weddings, high school graduations, and any other big events I could think of. When I was all done planning for my death, I was fully and completely free to deal with the task of getting better. I had no more worries because all my fears had been dealt with. It was incredibly freeing and here I am 18 years later to prove that planning for your funeral or signing a donor card does not cause your death. 😉
- Fear feeds on unworthiness. Imagine the very best thing that could happen and try to feel how you would feel if that happened. You do deserve good things to happen to you. You must believe that to help erase/minimize your fear.
- Fear feeds on feelings of impossibility. Nothing is impossible except becoming a rainbow kitten unicorn. 😉 Look at what is possible and believe in your abilities to work towards that goal rather than just saying “This is impossible!”. 2 years ago if you had told me where my life would be right now, I’d have thought you were on crack. “Impossible!”, I would have said. Yet I took small steps each and every day and I am here now. I didn’t even know where I was heading but small steps and little decisions have moved me a far way from where I was back then. You can do the same thing.