Hey there everyone. I have had to make the most awful choice. My sweet fur baby “Beanie”, had to be put down today. I am absolutely heartbroken and feel like I will never be okay again. I know I will… but today it feels life changing/ending.
“Beanie” has been with me for a decade now. She watched the kids through their teen years and loved me even when they thought I was a moron. 🙂
She is very special to me for one main reason. Besides loving me and looking at me as though the sun and moon rose on my command, she would wait for me when I went out. She’s sit at the top of the stairs and wait for 1 hour, 1 week, or one month. When I was in hospital the dog Skyped with me. She was that attached to me… and me to her.
For many years I was beyond suicidal. I didn’t have A plan, I had 10. I didn’t even think of doing it for attention, I just wanted to be gone. In my screwed up head, I thought my family and friends would be better off without me. Then there was the dog. IF I killed myself? She’d never understand. She’d wait for me and I’d never come back. I’d break her heart. So I stayed… for the dog.
I am not in that headspace any longer thank goodness. I do not need her to keep me in this world but I wanted her in my world forever. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing I have had to do in a long time. I feel absolutely heartbroken. 😦
I made this short video to share her with you. If you’ve ever felt the loss of a loved one (human or furry), this is for you too. ❤
It is also a chance for you to see my children growing up, my husband and myself just in case you are at all curious who is behind Heathers Helpers.