My husband and I have had more than our fair share over the past 8 months. We have dealt with situation after situation and as one crap heap gets cleaned up, we find another. Actually? It finds us.
Some people have said to me that I won’t be given any more than I can handle but I am becoming increasingly convinced that I have been mistaken for the quintuplets down the street. 😉
There have been a few times over these past months that remind me of how things once were in my life almost every day. I felt so stressed, angry, hurt, overwhelmed and it felt like I could never catch a break.
The feeling that I am reminded of the most on these crappy days is that feeling that nothing will ever get any better. Like there is no hope. The record that was in my mind played a song with these words; No one cares, I can’t take it any more, I just want to be gone from here, life isn’t fair, I hate this world… I’ll stop now. It was a really long song but rather repetitive so I will spare you the other 23 hours worth.
That way of thinking and feeling was horrible but I can not look back and feel that I was wrong about how I felt back then. I was very wrong about one thing in particular though. As much as those days used to come far closer together than they do now, life wasn’t horrible for every moment of every day even though I occasionally felt that was the truth.
In every life there are storms but there is also sunshine. Sometimes it is really hard to see the sun but it is there waiting for the current storm to pass. It is never gone from your life, it is just occasionally very well hidden.
Now, I am FAR from perfect at doing what I want to talk about next but I hope that in writing it, I will take in more of the lesson myself. I really hope that we can all work together to get a bit better at this way of thinking. Are you ready for it?
No need for a drum roll, it’s not THAT earth shattering. 😉
On those bad days we all need to try to remind ourselves that it is just a bad day. It does not need to translate in to “I have a bad life”.
When times are tough, the skies are grey, the sun is nowhere to be found and your faith is being dragged along a dirty floor, we need to remember that there were moments in our past and moments still to come where the skies are bright and blue, the sun shines brightly and faith in this world is easier to feel.
One of my best accidental ideas came to me one night while looking outside at the moon. That particular night the skies were clear, the moon was so full and bright. The ocean glistened under the moon’s light as though it was a sea of diamonds. In that moment I felt very, very lucky to be alive and have all that I have. I decided to take a few minutes to write down how I felt at that moment and I am so happy that I did because I now use that note to look at during really hard days. It reminds me that there are better days even when I don’t honestly believe it. That note lists my friends, family members on (my husband’s side) that love me as I am, the fact that I own a home which is something I thought could never happen, I was thankful for my dogs who give me unending love and an equal if not overbearing amount of slobber covered balls to throw. I felt thankful for food in my fridge, a bed to sleep in, and my computer… DO NOT forget the computer!!! 😉
That note is now dog-eared and worn after being taken out countless times over this past year. It really does help me remember that those good days DO come around even if not as quickly as we would all like them to.
I’d love to suggest that on your next good day, that you write yourself a note that you can take out on your rough days.
The good things within your life do not need to be huge. In fact, they rarely are. Our blessings are often in small packages. Flowers blooming in the spring, a good meal, a call from a friend, an exciting find on your computer, a heartwarming movie or book, a funny show that you enjoy or any of the other countless small things that occur fairly often. You can do as I do and take this out to read when you feel you have lost all hope.
I will admit that when I am really down, I don’t really even believe my own words and feel my note about my blessings is some corny load of bullcrap that I wrote while too tired to be rational. The thing that always makes me remember how real it all is? I remember that moon. It does not matter what makes you feel whole and at peace but I would suggest you write your little note to yourself while looking at something that you love. A garden, a tree, a sunset or sunrise, the moon, some stars or some possession that you own that makes you feel very happy. The memory of that item will often help you remember that the moment you wrote that note to yourself. It can make that moment real again for you.
In the end we all need to accept that crap happens. Sometimes way too much crap for a lifetime. We will have days or weeks, sometimes even years where we feel broken down and hopeless but we can never allow ourselves to forget that there are also good days. Beauty filled moments. Laughter, sunlight and joy.
You really can have a bad day without translating it to yourself in to “I have a bad life”. Try not to do that to yourself. Do what you need to do to get to a happier and healthier place and then have some faith that you got through this crap before and you can again. I truly do believe that each of you has it within yourselves to do just that. ❤