Recovery is a process…

Recovery. Not a difficult word to say or spell but it sure is a loaded word for anyone dealing with their own recovery.
Recovery is not only for those with mental health issues. It applies to addictions, people who have been in accidents or hurt in any other way. I actually think that almost all of us are dealing with recovery in some way big or small through most of our lives.
I don’t see this as a bad thing. Not at all. Anyone who is in any sort of active recovery process is usually working their arse off. Most days.

Recovery for me has been a life long process but it has sped up greatly over the past two years. Between surgeries to repair damage caused during my childhood (14 of those), an umpteen number of broken bones, stitches etc. Medical issues including cancer at 26, giving up smoking and then drinking. Stopping self harming behaviours and now being in a very active phase of therapy, I feel like I have been recovering all my life. I don’t just feel that way. I have been haven’t I?!

Well let me tell you what I have learned about recovery of any sort. I really want to share this and then I am going to put a post-it above my computer to remind me to look here the next time I feel like my recovery is stalled or impossible.

I’ve learned that the recovery process is the least smooth road I’ve ever travelled on (and that is saying a lot considering I live in pothole alley). Recovery goes up and down, backwards and forwards, side to side, twirls around gracefully on some days and thumps hard on its arse on others. I get days now where I feel like everything is going so dang well that I don’t even need therapy any longer only to wake up the next day and be knocked flat-out by something I never saw coming.

Some days recovery feels like it is impossible and I will never “get there”. Where is “there” anyways? Does anyone know?
I feel more beaten and bruised by recovery at times than I did during my trauma. I think the reason for that is that when I was in those horrible times, I expected things to go badly. I was sort of prepared for it. During recovery, I see better days and then get all excited like those days will last forever but they don’t

I do not wish to share a negative view of recovery. I want to present what I feel (in my humble opinion) recovery is really like so that when people who are either newer to the recovery process or old pro’s at it like myself forget that setbacks are really very normal will remind ourselves that we are not alone.
This all helps me too. I am sure many of you will leave wonderful comments as you always do 🙂 and I will use those to remind myself that I am not alone when these days come along. I feel it is good for ALL of us to know that we are not alone in this.

SONY DSC

 This is a rather accurate representation wouldn’t you say?

I saw a saying awhile ago but can not recall where it was from. It went something like this…
Pessimists see setbacks in their recovery and steps backwards.
Optimists see those same steps backwards as more of a cha-cha.

This post today is going to be far shorter than usual. I wrote the above part of this blog earlier today. Just before getting a call that my husband needed to go to hospital again. Now I am back hours later and we need to go back every 6 hours so I need to get a quick bit of sleep. His recovery is a bit of a cha-cha right now as well.

Have a great day everyone! No matter where you are on your recovery journey, you are further today than you were yesterday. When you fall, get back up and try again. Pretty soon you’ll be a professional at getting back up and it will become easier for you. ❤

Recovery

 

 

 

 

6 responses to “Recovery is a process…

  1. This is my first time I have replied as only saw the website recently
    I have had lots of traumatic things happen in my life and sometimes have awful days but do try to think positive. I have been sexually abused by a family member as a child and also had a sibling suffer death through a sexual assault. I don’t know whether I have PTSD but I’ve been on and off antidepressants for the past 12 years. I’ve been to that much counselling that sometimes I feel does it really help. Lots of other stuff have happened but I do try to keep the faith, have my own radio show that streams 5 days a week online and work in a local nursing home and hostel little do people know how much I am hurting but I still try to look on the bright side of life, singing and listening to music helps .

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    • Have you thought of asking to be tested for PTSD? It has very specific criteria that are easy to diagnose. If I was you, I’d want to know because therapy that is PTSD sensitive is quite different from regular therapy for depression. Regular therapy made me worse.
      It does sound like you do try to stay very positive but you really need a place where you can let that fake smile go away and just be you. I know you are worth whatever it takes to help yourself heal. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you.

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  2. You are doing AWESOME with your recovery Heather! Perhaps it feels harder than the trauma because then you were “de-sensitised”? You are allowing yourself to really FEEL now.
    I am thinking of you and L – hope he will be okay. Cwtches to you both.xx

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    • Thank you so much my friend! I am in to day 4 of writing you an email. LOL And you are right in your assumptions. Well that and because finding people to abuse me was never a fight. It just happened. Healing is a really personal fight. It takes a lot more work.

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  3. First of all, I hope your husband is okay. I will be thinking of you both. This is a great post and I LOVE your Expectations and Reality drawing……..more powerful and accurate than any words!

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  4. One two thre, cha cha! You got it! Best wishes for your husband’s recovery .

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