Finally! The world is changing.

This world will never be perfect. It will never likely be free from all wars, racial or religious discrimination. Abusers and haters will likely always walk amongst us. Those who cause harm may never get the punishments they really deserve and from the outside looking in, they look like they still get off too easily.
Trust me, having PTSD is almost a surefire way to always feel afraid, in danger, or alone. I truly see the world for what it really is and sometimes it hurts to look. It can hurt a lot.
Sounds horrible right? Well that part of our world is.

I guess it is a good thing that our world is full of far more than that! 🙂

Very recently there was a shooting in a Church. A young white man with hatred in his heart walked in to a place of worship and ended many black men and women’s lives. Was he a racist? Most certainly.
So why is this world so great?
Well… years ago this may have triggered and all out racial war. Looting, fires, fights in the street that may have gone on for days or weeks in retaliation. So what happened? These people who were living the worst days of their lives after losing their loved ones chose another path. They chose forgiveness. Right from the beginning. They took that young white racist man and showed him compassion. They do not excuse what he did but they stopped the cycle of hatred right then and there. I hope other racist persons were forced to do a double take when that hatred was met with kindness. Maybe some ice was melted away from their hearts. I truly believe it is people like this that will change our world.

In other news, gay marriage was such a huge taboo for so many years and some people fought very hard to prevent it from becoming a law. In my humble opinion, I always felt there was no reason that gay men and women shouldn’t be just as miserable as the rest of us. 😉 Go ahead! Get married.
Joking aside…
Ireland and the United States have both recently made gay marriages legal. Adding their countries to a growing list of others. Two of the least likely places in the world from where I stand. I have been so incredibly impressed by this new open-mindedness.
Gay – Straight – Black – White… we are all the same on the inside and should be treated as such. This world is changing and we ARE becoming much more accepting of each others differences.

I joined this “Good Deeds” group on Facebook quite some time ago. When I joined, it was small, had few postings, events were unheard of and the only place that we ever really heard much about paying it forward was in the movie “Sixth Sense”. Now there are over 72 thousand members and events are popping up everywhere. There are even other groups with as many as a million followers and daily acts of kindness that inspire others to do the same. It has been a snowball and that snowball is becoming HUGE now.
I’ve heard the saying “red-hot anger” before and I wonder if eventually the snowball we are all building will be able to help cool that anger right off.
Some people do huge events that touch thousands of people while others just do something more personal. Putting extra change in to someone elses parking meter that has run out, buying a homeless person a sandwich, having a hot chocolate ready for the postman on a cold day, saying something nice to someone else… it really doesn’t need to be big. It just needs to be kind.
To  see this movement grow so much, so fast? It encourages me to incredibly to see the millions of people actively wanting to make this world a better place.

We can watch the TV and see a multitude of horrible events of every sort. Natural disasters, serial rapists, murderers, racially motivated crimes… need I go on??? It is a “crapfest” of horrible events.
If you look at what happens afterwards though? Your faith in humanity will be restored. There are always people there willing to help. Look at that horrible day of September 11th… a group of hateful men caused a tragedy none of us will ever forget but for each one of those men, MILLIONS of people around the world stepped forward to offer their help. Money, supplies, medical support, food, water… it was endless and the gifts from all these people are still helping those affected today.

A natural disaster is no different. Mother Nature unleashes her wrath and causes incredible devastation.. and then thousands of people come forward to help their fellow-man.
The next time that you watch a horrible event and feel that gross feeling of despair in your gut? Wait for the helpers. They are always there. Maybe one day you can be one of them.

Abuser of every kind have been an issue for years. It is incredibly sad to see how many people will actively hurt another. I know this first hand and I know the devastation felt by a victim who does not receive any help by no choice of their own. It just hasn’t been available. I know this is still a huge issue but if you are willing to just take another look for a moment and acknowledge how far we have come. Awareness campaigns, support groups, self-help books, special days set aside to help bring more understanding to different issues, medical and mental health studies, bloggers… the list of helpers is once again nearly endless.
Abusers are being forced in to the open, victims are staying in that victim role for shorter and shorter amounts of time, the courts are slower than cold molasses in January but they are moving forwards to make more appropriate punishments for those who do others harm.
I’ve had the chance to speak to graduating medical students for a couple of years now and they listen with rapt attention when I tell my story and explain how my abuses were all missed. Those doctors will graduate knowing better what to look for. They may still miss sometimes but they care and they want to do well for their patients. This fall I hope to expand my talks to nursing students and police forces. I am not alone in this. There are many others just like me that are speaking out to the people who really need to hear it the most. The front line.

So yeah… we still have a long way to go but that will always be true because for every step we move forward, we can see even further down the road and we will push for even more change but I think that every once in a while, we can (and should) stop, take a look around and be really proud of ourselves for how far we have come. This world is becoming a safer and more loving place because of people who truly care.
A loving hug to each one of you. ❤


After writing this blog, I came across a story through about a young entrepreneur who is using his pizza shop as a place where others can come and pay it forward with a slice of pizza for someone who can’t afford one. It is only $1 to buy someone else a slice but the story and the pictures of the wall of donated slices on Post-it notes is incredibly uplifting. It gave me a real boost, I hope it puts a smile on your face as well.

10 responses to “Finally! The world is changing.

  1. Lovely Heather … Thank you.



  2. It’s very easy to focus on all the bad “stuff” that happens, especially if that “stuff” is motivated by race and/or religion. The recent terrorist attack in Tunisia is a good example.
    But out of this truly horrific event comes stories of heroism that have restored my faith in humanity. The man who threw himself in front of his fiancée (both survived), the many stories of Tunisian locals and hotel staff who hid holiday makers and those who actually stood between holidaymakers and the gunman, saving countless lives while risking their own.
    As long as there are people like this, the abusers, terrorists and murderers will never win.
    As long as there are people like you Heather, who have good reason to hate but choose to look on the positive side, the “bad people” will never win.


    • I actually had this story in my blog but then the news stared reporting about other gunmen and such so I felt that I didn’t have the whole story yet but I do ABSOLUTELY agree with everything that you said. It was actually the story that inspired this post. I just used older examples. 🙂
      It really is an incredible story but stories like this are not as uncommon as most people think. Maybe not to that level but the smaller stories of the lengths some people will go to help others is inspiring and they really do outweigh the bad.
      Thank you for adding the story. 🙂 ❤


  3. I hope I do not come across as angry. I am just curious.
    Why is everyone on the “it is great gay people get to marry” bandwagon? I think it is a bad direction for the country
    On another note. I think you have a wonderful blog. It helps me to see the positive and uplifting part of life. You have helped me so much with your insight and perspective. Thank you!


    • You don’t come across as angry. 🙂
      First of all, I am Canadian and gay marriage has been legal here already for many years. This is nothing new to us at all and it has not caused the collapse of anything. Those who are gay are still gay and those whom are straight are still straight. The ones that went to Church before coming out still go to Church and the ones that spend Sunday morning in bed are still there every Sunday morning. Our young children are not confused or led astray. Its really just no big deal here. We just don’t care.
      For me it is more personal. I have a gay brother-in-law that twisted himself inside out trying to be straight. He even got married and had a child. He’s as much a Christian as anyone I know but he’s gay and he made a huge mess of things by not being able to just admit that in the first place 40-50 years ago. I also have a gay daughter. It is not the life I want for her but only because there is still a lot of homophobia and I worry for her safety. It is not an easy life but it is not a choice. It is what she has been since she was little. I’ve known it since she was only about 3 or 4 years old. It took her another 20 years to figure it out for herself. I certainly never said anything.
      So all that said? The reason I think it is good is that we are both blessed (I am assuming you are American?) to live in countries where people can have different opinions and not be killed or tortured because of it. You can have one opinion, I can have another and someone else can feel differently again and it is okay. We have the freedom to do that and I feel we are very fortunate because of it.
      I am honestly not “for” or “against” gay marriage but I do feel that we are incredibly lucky to choose without oppressive fear. For me its about freedom, not about the topic.
      And thank you for the compliment on my blog. I really appreciate that more than you know. I appreciate all your comments.
      All the best to you!
      P.S. I am happy you wrote in saying you have another opinion. Most people don’t have the guts to disagree with someone else or the ability to do it in a respectful way.


      • I appreciate your well thought out reply!
        It helps me to see why people believe or feel the way they do.
        Though I do see harm in accepting the actions and mindset associated with being gay. I see it as positive to accept the person. In the USA there is a push for acceptance. I do not agree with that push.
        Weather a person is born that way or not I believe it is a choice to pursue it or not. Just like some straight people choose to live a celebrate life.

        I wish there were more people like you who can discuss a subject that is sensitive and not get angry with questions or opinions.
        Thank you


      • I love to learn why others feel the way they do. Do you feel that the stance in the States for those who oppose gay marriage is mostly due to religion/religious beliefs? I hope you don’t mind me asking?


      • I love to learn and exchange opinions and ideas also.
        I think one of the oppositions comes from the concern for children. Since most people that are against same gender getting married believe being gay is a choice. Then that choice will be passed on to the children either through example or abuse. I think abuse is one major concern for most people that are against this change.
        The other opposition comes from belief of what the main focus for marriage should be, procreation and raising children. Which is not intrinsic if people of the same gender get married.
        The last opposition come from religion. It is specifically frowned upon in the Bible and most Christians believe in the Bible.
        Most of these i have gotten from comments and thoughts of those on the internet or in person.


      • My only wish is that people would look at the facts as found over the past 25 years that they have collected them. I never discuss what happened to me when I was young in detail but I will tell you that of thousands of men I have been negatively exposed to, NONE of them were gay.


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