Trust

Trust. It is only a small and simple word. It is said repeatedly within almost every day, For many it is just a word and not much more than that.
Then there are those who’ve been hurt. Some hurts are deeper than others and we all handle these situations differently but there tends to do be one thing that is the same for most of us. Those hurts have chipped away at our ability to trust.

Trusting someone else is a hurdle I am attempting to jump this year. I have people in my life who have never lied to me, who truly care for my well-being, who would never hurt me in any way at all. They deserve my trust and I know they trust me.
It all sounds so simple but to just take the final step in to allowing yourself to trust someone after the people you should have been able to trust earlier in your life have hurt you badly? It is a gargantuan leap.

This issue has been on my mind for over a year now but I was not ready to tackle it until now. It was actually listening to others that has helped me see that I want to be ready. I want trust to come back in to my life.
These friends of mine who also have Complex PTSD and some who have no diagnoses yet still struggle speak to me of their challenges and I want to tell them to just allow themselves to give their trust to those who deserve it. How much richer their relationships could be.
It hurts me to see how battered trust can be in these people’s lives and how it can potentially take the best parts of their lives away if they do not just allow themselves to trust. No one likes to feel untrustworthy at all but being made to feel that way because of other people’s actions is just not fair at all.
Yet, I do it too. To my husband, my best of friends, my in-laws (I have great ones), therapists, doctors, and even my children.

I have decided that this is going to be the year that I am just going to give my trust away. Just give it to those who have proven they deserve it. The negative/hurtful people in my life are now gone and the ones that are left are truly good and trustworthy individuals. I need want to remove one more brick from the wall that surrounds my heart and trust is a BIG brick. Getting that one out of the way will allow for so much more light and love to get in to my heart and I want need that.

So how do you do it? You just do it. When those negative voices start talking to you, tell them to go away. This person in front of you right now has done nothing to deserve your distrust.
It won’t be easy but I feel it will be worth it.

The one caveat is that you might get hurt. I might get hurt too. Some people will let you down. That is guaranteed in this life. That said? Is it a life well lived if we don’t take that chance? The hurts will come once in a while if we give our trust to trustworthy people but the benefits of closer relationships, making the other person feel important to you, trustworthy in your eyes, and just the sheer weight that we won’t need to carry around with us any longer will make such a huge difference in our lives. Distrust is so heavy.

I can not pretend to tell you that I have this one issue all figured out but I can tell you that I am going to try my best to just allow myself to trust. I hope you will join along with me even if it is only one small movement forward at a time. We can do this. We deserve it.

8 responses to “Trust

  1. Shit. I’ve just realised that since the majority of my family died I actually don’t trust anyone entirely. There are levels of trust though.

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    • For sure! I have a hard time believing people will stick around. Not only in life but also by dying. I know that very few people choose to die but it still feels like being left. I wish you luck working towards deeper levels of trust. 🙂

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  2. An abusive relationship in my teens, being dumped ten days before my wedding at 22 and numerous other negative relationships have given me good reason not to trust. But I have rarely thought about how my distrust must affect others – especially the lovely man I eventually married.
    Naturally it hasn’t always been plain sailing at all (SO NOT at all!), but if I hadn’t taken a leap of faith and he hadn’t worked past my issues (which can’t have been easy), we both would have missed so much.
    A very thought-provoking and heartfelt blog Heather.xxx

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    • I read a saying one time that said something like “When someone truly loves you, they not only accept your baggage but they also help you to unpack”. So true right? I am so happy that you let your man in to your life. You deserve a happy life my friend.

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  3. Anything as worthwhile and rewarding as trust comes with risks, as you say. But, in my opinion, it is so worth it. Kind of like love……….

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  4. Good luck, Heather! I wish you the best as you open your heart to those who love you and support you!

    Sam

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