2016 has arrived!
We are only one minute in so congratulations! You’ve probably kept your resolutions so far. It’s a good thing I don’t post at supper time right? 😉
I actually do want to talk to you about making resolutions.
A lot of people head in to a new year and set the bar rather high for themselves. THIS is going to be the year I am going to _______ !!!!!!!! And don’t fib to me. Half of you just said “lose weight”. 😉
I applaud and encourage you to try to make changes in your life that are meaningful to you but I’d like to offer you a few suggestions that I have learned while breaking all of my New Years resolutions for the past 45 years. 4 decades have made me somewhat of an expert.
- Make your goals achievable. I know a lot of people who have HUGE resolutions. Lose 50-100 pounds, write a book, stop talking about others… All excellent goals but they are just too big.
How about losing 5 pounds? When you’ve lost those, set out to lose 5 more. Stop to celebrate each goal reached.
How about writing a chapter of that book? If you manage the chapter and feel it is good? Do another chapter.
No more speaking of others? A day at a time will do.
- Realize that your goal does not define you. My favourite quote that I learned and absorbed last month was “You are not fat. You HAVE fat. You have fingernails. You are not fingernails.” Do not define yourself by your weight, the goals that you reach, or any other outside measure. You are worthy of goodness in your life today and you will still be worthy tomorrow no matter what goals you reach and which ones you don’t.
- The only way to truly fail is to give up. You can set a goal and intend to reach it but then fall short of that goal. Don’t allow that to dissuade you. Just keep plugging along. So long as you are trying, you are still working at your goal.
- Use the power of YET. If you reach your goals no matter what they are about? That is terrific but if you do not? It does not man that you’ve failed. It just means that you haven’t managed to do it YET. Just as the above point says about not giving up, speak to yourself kindly and rather than saying “I failed to keep my resolution or meet my goal”, say “I have not reached that goal YET but I am still working at it.” Doesn’t that sound so much nicer and more encouraging?
- Be realistic. Let’s face it… if you are 5 feet tall, no resolution will make you 6 feet tall unless you are a 14 year old boy. If you have a large frame, you will never wear a size 1. Be realistic and be fair to yourself when setting goals or making resolutions.
I am not going to include this last one as a “tip” but I have one resolution that I would just love for you to all keep this year. I would be absolutely THRILLED if your main goal this year was just to be kind and forgiving of yourself.
Rather than dropping a glass and berating yourself for being so clumsy? Just clean it up and don’t sweat it. Glasses are cheap to replace. Your feelings aren’t.
If you fail a test, forget to bring something with you, miss a loved ones birthday or any other “being human” sort of things? Who cares? Apologize for what you forgot or didn’t do well if needed then let it go. Do not call yourself names. “I’m so stupid.” “I’m so unorganized.” “I’m such a ditz.” You would never think of calling anyone else any of those things so why is it okay to say it to yourself?
Hint: It’s not.
Be gentle with yourself. You are special, worthy of love, you deserve for good things to happen to you, and you matter.
You really matter.
Treat yourself as such.