While some people are out buying last-minute gifts, thawing turkeys, getting extra beds ready for company, doing the last-minute things to trim the tree and make their homes beautiful, a segment of the population is not quite so thrilled about it all.
I can’t possibly go in to all the reasons why people are not at all happy during Christmas (or whichever holiday you celebrate) but I can discuss a few.
Christmas and other holidays were not happy in everyone’s homes. Whether due to family and friends excessive drinking, fighting, not having the escape of time at school or serious family squabbles that did not end well at all. I could go on but don’t feel the need to. I am sure you get the idea.
These issues can be dragged along in to adulthood with us and it can make this time of the year very stress filled rather than joyful.
I think the only real way to handle these triggers is by deciding where healthy places for you to be are. If the family still drinks, fights or gets belligerent? Maybe you don’t really need to be there OR you can excuse yourself early. It is okay to not allow other people to ruin your day. Honest. You really do have the right to take care of your own needs first.
If you are in recovery for any addiction, you are more than likely going to face it a lot over the holidays. The stress alone can make you want to turn back to your old best friend but so can cakes made with rum, umpteen offers for a drink and idiots that will actually say “One little drop won’t hurt you”.
Then their are people who give scratch tickets to a recovering gambling addict.
Food addicts? I am so, so, so sorry. Christmas has you surrounded. Stay strong!
Many addictions are harder to avoid at this time of year so be sure to stay connected to healthy people who know you need some extra support during the season.
Even if you are surrounded by people, this season can still leave you feeling lonely. I have many friends that wanted to be married and have children but for a multitude of reasons, this wish did not work out for them. Holidays can make these losses feel even more acute.
I will admit that I find Christmas lonely even though I have a husband and children. Christmas reminds me that I have no birth family that cares. This year may also be the first year that one or two of my children will not be coming home for Christmas. Most days I am able to put that in to perspective but on holidays that is tougher.
What I have done that helps quite a bit is to make a list of the people who are in my life. You need to make this list now though and not wait until you feel depressed. I list all the amazing people who I do have in my life and I am blessed with many. Looking at that list really helps me feel far less lonely.
I doubt I need to talk about this one much! 😉
All the extra food (snacks, meals, and baking), gifts, decorations, travel, a climbing power bill, and if you are at all like me? A small fortune in candles.
This can add a lot of stress to anyone but I think we all need to remind ourselves that it is only a day and your worth is not pinned on our Christmas performance.
The people who care about you will know if you are short on funds or just can’t offer much. If they fuss about it? You need some new friends. Sadly I am not joking here.
I can’t speak for you but the WORST thing to send my symptoms in to high gear is stress. Good stress, bad stress, it makes no difference. All the visiting we do, the extra people over to our home, decorating, cleaning, and all the parties of many sorts.
This doesn’t even take in to account that I planned my families birthdays at a horrible time! 3 of us surround Christmas. Silly, silly, silly…
I made a really concerted effort last year to book quiet days amongst the busy ones. At least 2 per week. I made my family understand that these days were for recharging and relaxing. It worked rather well and I will do it again this year.
Always remember yourself in all your plans and all your thinking about what needs to be done for others.
Happy holidays and best wishes to you all.
Heather and the Helpers