15 Things

I found a list of 15 things to give up and thought it was great. I decided to share it with you and expand on their list a bit. 🙂

  1. Doubting yourself. You are smart and you make good decisions based on what you know at the time. Sometimes you will be right and sometimes you will be wrong but don’t let the fear of occasionally being wrong trap you in a world of self-doubt.
  2. Negative thinking. We all feel the ups and the downs of life but keeping yourself in a cycle of looking at the world through pessimistic eyes only robs you of any possible joys you could find if you looked at the rainbows rather than the clouds. The world is NOT all clouds.
  3. Fear of failure. I love this one! Why are we all so afraid to fail? I think we can learn something from Thomas Edison here. “I have not failed. I have only found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” He was a smart cookie so go ahead and keep trying. You’ll eventually figure it out. Look at each “failure” as being one step closer to eventual success.
  4. Destructive relationships. These can be very difficult to give up! Let me tell you a little secret that I have learned while giving up my destructive relationships. I found this out the hard way but it was worth it in the end… For every destructive relationship that I gave up or lost and often grieved for, space was made for a much more positive one. I used to see this process as losing someone. Now I see it as a chance to gain someone even better!
  5. Gossiping. Well, let me tell you something here. 😉 I was raised by a terrific gossiper and learned to do it myself. It was a hard habit to break when I grew up and realized it was wrong. I still have to catch myself at times but it is worth the effort to give it up. You are only drawing negative energy in towards yourself and sending negative energy out. We don’t want that right? Be kind. Say nice things. Talk about others strengths. You’ll be happier. I promise.
  6. Criticizing yourself and others. Much like being a gossip, I feel this is a bad habit we get in to. I think it is easier to give up criticizing others but it is far more difficult to give it up ourselves. I am a firm believer in energy and if you criticize yourself even in jest, you are attracting negative energy towards yourself. Be nice to yourself. Be kind and compassionate towards who you are. Offer that to others as well.
  7. Anger. Some anger is healthy. Anger at hurtful events. Anger at losing someone you cared deeply for. Anger at abusers. BUT… just being angry all the time will not serve you well at all. Let your anger out in an appropriate way. Talk to someone who really cares about how you feel but then let it go. Staying angry only hurts you. It never hurts them. That negative burden gets VERY heavy and only feels heavier and heavier the longer you carry it.
  8. Comfort eating. OUCH! I am so guilty of this one. Have a feeling? Stuff it down. Have an uncomfortable emotion? Stuff it down. What an easy way to soothe yourself. This is an addiction when you use it in this way. No different from drinking or drugs. You are using a substance to run away from how you feel. I’ll let you off the hook if you stuff your feelings down with carrot sticks but let’s be real… carrots are not what we crave. It is so much nicer to shove feelings down with chocolate, candy, cake, whatever… Take care of your emotional health and admit if you have a problem here. There is help out there. 🙂
  9. Laziness. We all deserve time off to just relax, read a book, watch a movie, enjoy a coffee or just have a lazy day but when those lazy days pile up and you spend more time watching TV, sitting in front of the internet or just generally avoiding responsibilities? Your life is going to get bad quickly. Make some plans. Clean your house up. Finish the half done projects. Reply to those emails. Call a friend. You will feel such a sense of accomplishment for everything you do each day and that translates in to a far healthier and happier life.
  10. Negative self talk. This is the stuff that goes on inside your head that others don’t know about. “I’m too stupid to figure that out.” “I’m fat and ugly.” “People hate me.” “I don’t deserve any better.” “I’m a lazy sloth.” I could go on FOREVER but I am sure you get the idea? I really do believe that when you tell yourself something often enough, it becomes your truth. How about telling yourself some nicer things and watch what happens. “I make good choices.” “I am a loving and thoughtful friend.” “I care about my health.” Positive attracts positive so be sweet to yourself then sit back and watch your life change.
  11. Procrastination. Who’s not good at this? Anyone? I believe we all have our moments but chronic procrastination does a few really bad things to you. 1 – When you actually need to have something done you are suddenly rushed and that is stressful. 2 – You are more likely to just give it up altogether and lose out on that sense of accomplishment. 3 – Undone chores / work / responsibilities / projects get piled up and become insurmountable. Getting out from all that pressure can be nearly impossible. Try something for me? Try to have things done one day early. Even if you only try it once or twice. See how it feels. I think you’ll like it.
  12. Fear of success. This is a weird one. My first thought was who is afraid of success? Then I thought about starting this blog and 75% of me thought it would be a useless waste of my time and no one would ever be interested in anything I had to say. (Yes, I gave my negative self talk a good boot in the arse for talking to me like that.) The other 25% worried that if I was successful? People would be reading about my private world. A world that I have kept hidden for over 40 years. I feared backlash, rude comments, and people who just “don’t believe in DID”. That fear of success almost prevented me from starting this at all. In the end? I am so happy that I went out on a limb and gave it a try. It’s exceeded any expectations that I ever had and I’ve met some truly loving, warm and thoughtful people in the process. I hope you’ll take a chance on success when it comes your way. 🙂
  13. Anything excessive. Too much computer time. Too many hours watching TV. Too much food. Too many drinks. Overdoing your exercise routine to the point of pain. Speaking poorly of yourself too often. Balance is key right?
  14. People pleasing. Oh boy. Guilty as charged. 😉 It’s nice to be good to people and it is kind to care but going way above and beyond in order to make others happy? That is just time-consuming and the path to frustration. This leads nicely in to number 15.
  15. Putting others needs before your own. This is so easy to do and I did it constantly. I’d drop everything in order to do something for a friend, work, my kids, my husband, other family members. The trouble was that the person that always got dropped was me. I was not considering my own needs or taking good care of myself. This can only go on so long before you completely crash. Think of your life and your energy like a teapot. Everyone else is a cup. You keep filling the cups over and over again and they are all happy but eventually the teapot runs dry. Now you have nothing left to give and no one in your life is getting a drink. This doesn’t end well for any tea party in life. Take time to refill. Read, take a walk, listen to some great music, write, chat with a friend, do something creative… anything at all that fills you back up. It is only a full teapot that can be good for anyone else.  Take care of you first!

I hope you’ve enjoyed the list of things to give up. Have a great day!

4 responses to “15 Things

  1. This is very applicable to my wife. I need to try and get her to read your blog so she does not feel so alone. You express what I am sure many people with DID go through on a regular basis but never think about. Thanks for your blogging.

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    • I hope she will read it and if she ever wishes to reach out, feel free to have her contact me. They say not to put email addresses properly here because it encourages spammers but my email is heathershelpers at mail dot com.

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  2. Great post! It definitely got me thinking since there’s a good amount (if not all!) of these I could give up.

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