Who am I?

Do you know who you are?
More than your name, age, height, marital status, job tittle and place in your family? Do you really know about you?
I didn’t. For the first 43 years of y life I was who I was supposed to be, who I was told to be, I liked what was given to me and craved for nothing else.
I went to more schools, lived in more homes, made and had to leave MANY friends, and had more jobs than you can imagine. I just tried to mold myself in to becoming whatever the people around me needed to be. I got REALLY good at it. This was not intentional. Not at all. It was just a lack of awareness on my part. I’d never been allowed/had the opportunity to just “be myself” so how could I know who I was?  Then one day I was given a big clue by a tiny person.
One of my younger nieces asked me what my favourite colour was and I gave my usual answer. “Rainbow”
Her response? “No Auntie Heather. Rainbow isn’t a colour.” You have to pick one!”
I couldn’t pick. Without someone else saying that they liked blue or purple and me saying “Me too”, I didn’t have  a favourite of my own.
So what do you do when you realize that you are a grown up and you don’t know who you are? I can tell you what I did.
I went online and Googled (have I ever told anyone how much I LOVE Google???) “Getting to know you questions.” I printed off hundreds of them. Some questionnaires were short and “simple” while others really went in to depth about your opinions and beliefs. While in hospital, I began answering these questions. Some I found rather easy but most were nearly impossible. I just had no clue and I really had to put my thinking cap on to decide between the world filled with options.
I felt a bit like a teenager with those magazine questionnaires about whether a boy is right for you but it was well worth my time and effort. Slowly as each day passed, I become more and more sure about my answers. Quite often, my answers would change from one questionnaire to another because the more I learned about myself, the more direction I found.
Why is this even important?
Well… how can you or I decide what we wish to do, where we wish to go or who we wish to become if we can’t even figure out who we are now?
I learned some really important things about myself and those personality traits that I uncovered are things I want to expand on. It also let me know what I don’t like so I don’t waste my time chasing those things any longer. Okay, not as often. 😉
So who am I? Heather, a mother, a wife, a friend, I run a support group and love to help people, I write a blog and am able to be honest in a way that many people are unwilling or unable to be because I am strong and I have a lot of courage. I am extremely independent and not quite as anti-social as I previously thought. Pretty cool right?
I am also hurt easily but forgive quickly, I stand up for what I believe in and my friends always get the truth from me, even when the truth isn’t the easy path for me to take.
I have downfalls too. I eat too much, I don’t enjoy exercise, I have far too many triggers, high anxiety and I avoid the phone (even good calls) because I am afraid of who it will be and if it will stress me out. I can be a bit TOO independent (just ask my husband who occasionally feels unneeded, I have no math skills whatsoever and no interest in changing that. Did I remember to say that I am stubborn?

P.S. My favourite colour? SCHOOL BUS YELLOW!!!!
Okay, that’s a lie.
I’d like ANY colour that a school bus came in so long as it arrived each day and took the kids to school. 😀 😦 🙂 (There is always at least one that is not happy to go on any given day.)

My favourite colour is sunset orange and I could do some serious driving in this car. Orange Did I mention that I like to speed? Shhhh….. I know, it’s a bad habit but it’s part of who I am.
Who are you?

45 Get to know you questions.

50 “What’s your favourite?” questions.

50 Thought provoking questions.

5 responses to “Who am I?

  1. Heather, this blog really touched me. When I was young I always envied those people who knew exactly what they wanted in life, and who had confidence in their abilities. I never did. If someone said “you can’t do that” or “you’re not that sort of person” I believed them. I still felt this way when I hit my forties – after all, I had never made a success of any job I’d had. Only now do I realise I had been in the wrong jobs! I had been so busy trying to be the person other people expected or wanted me to be that I never stopped and thought about what I wanted or who I was.

    Now – well, at the grand old age of 53 I know who I am and what I’m capable of (partly thanks to your wise and kind words Heather). Yes, it would have been nice if this awareness had come earlier on in life, but it’s never too late for a sunset-orange sports car!!! : )x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 53 is the perfect age to figure it all out Wendy!
    43, 33, 23, 13… 63, 73, 83, 93…
    I think the important thing is that we do eventually take that time to find out what WE want and not what everyone else makes us out to be or wants us to be. For the record? I REALLY like who you really are.

    Like

  3. Dancing Butterfly

    I am always amazed when I read what you post and in our conversations.
    This really hit the nail on the head.
    The who are you? questionnaires blew my mind too. I guess we are always learning more about ourselves each day and in every chapter in our lives.
    xo

    Like

  4. Thanks for posting some questionaires. I was going to ask for some. Ha! Great post. xoxox

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s