Heard and Believed.

There are VERY few things people can say or do to make me cry. I actually find it almost impossible to show people who I can be hurt. I am working on that but one topic that always makes me weepy is when I think back to the day when I was told “I hear you and I believe you.”
It was only less than a year ago and I was sitting in a crowded “clubhouse” and those words were said. I don’t think I will ever forget it. I actually had to get up and leave. My emotions just boiled over in a way they never had before.
You see… when you are young and you are abused, it is very common for the people around to disbelieve you. Even now as an adult, it is easier for people to just think to themselves that “those things don’t happen”.
Maybe they don’t want to face the truth or just can’t. The trouble is that this act of disbelief closes off any bravery the child tries to show and that never ends. I have heard people in their 50’s and 60’s STILL saying that there is no sense talking about their truth. No one will believe them anyways.
Those early lessons were well taught.
“Just shut up.”” No one will believe you anyways.”
In my case I stayed quiet for 44 years. I just knew that no one would ever really hear me and most certainly no one would ever believe me so why bother?
What a terrible belief to hold.
Then that day in the clubhouse arrived and I was told that I was actually being heard and that they did really believe me. They actually said that everything I said added up. Wow!
My whole world began to crash down around me and I felt exceptionally overwhelmed but those words were the beginning of my healing journey.
There are still many people who won’t ever believe me because they don’t really want to hear it.  I have accepted that. They will have to stay quiet about it though because my silent days are over.
There are also many people in my life now that have heard some of my story and have accepting it with compassion. Healing from trauma lives in that space created by being heard and knowing you are believed.
If there is someone in your life that tells you a truth from their past, don’t pass a judgement or shy away. Tell them that you hear them and that you believe them so they can begin to heal as well.

One response to “Heard and Believed.

  1. Glad to see you are writing again, Heather 🙂

    Like

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